So first off, I hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving. I definitely enjoyed spending time with my hubby's family and watching Lily interact with her second cousin, Jack. They are one month apart to the day and so it makes for a fun time getting them together.
Even though there is a TON to be thankful for, I wanted to share something that was so very encouraging to my momma heart.
Let's start at the beginning of the story. You see, Lily is the first baby since Matthew was born, 23 years ago. So everyone loves her and just can't get enough, which is rather funny, but for those of you with grandkids or nieces and nephews, you know the overwhelming desire to give that little one everything they want.
Well, as the parent to the first child in a long time in the family, it can sometimes be difficult to reign in people's desire to give our daughter everything.
This brings us to today's story and super encouraging moment. On thanksgiving there is dessert, obviously lol. Well, to the parent who drove two hours to thanksgiving and now has a napless toddler, dessert and sweets after dinner are a no go. No one wants a hyped up toddler who hasn't napped today.
So as Matt and I started talking about dessert for her and figuring out if any would be appropriate, those aunts, uncles, and grandparents, who love her so much and are ensnared by her adorable babiness lol, argued against our decision to not give our baby desserts.
(Disclaimer here: I know that my loving family, who will most likely read this, never meant to be overbearing or anything along those lines, so there are no hard feelings. Really :]. )
Anyway, as I was listening to multiple family members tell me how I should give our daughter dessert for multiple reasons, my husbands aunt said something that truly struck me and encouraged my heart.
She said "Let her be the mom."
Short and sweet, but oh so impactful. You see, as a young parent with so many loving family members, it can be hard to be second guessed or questioned on our decisions, and after a long hard day, no parent wants to have to argue with family over how to raise their child. Even well meaning family.
So when she said that, it really encouraged me, it's such a wonderful feeling to have someone respect your role as the parent and decision maker for your child. Because honestly, no one wants to come off rude to family or say something that could be hurtful, but it's hard to be questioned and try to find the right words that won't be disrespectful but remind people of who you are in this child's life. Ya know?
So just a shout out to those who have grandkids, nieces, nephews, or just little ones in the family, please please Please respect the parents as the authority they are in the child's life. I know that you love the little one and the dessert or toy at the time doesn't seem like a big deal, but the parents know the child best, and they know what is beneficial and what needs to be temporarily avoided. So the next time they say no to the dessert after dinner, or decline the toy for the child, just say ok and let them parent. It's hard enough knowing you are responsible for a tiny life without having to argue their decisions.
And to the worn down parents, we both know how much your families love these little ones, and how hard it is to raise them. I also know that it's hard to stand your ground without coming off as rude, so please give them an extra dose of patience when they forget that you're the mom or dad, but don't be afraid to gently stand firm when your decisions are questioned or argued, because at the end of the day, this is your child and your are responsible to take care of their tiny lives.
And to my loving family, thank you for caring so much for Lily.
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