Warning: There may potentially be multiple pictures of my daughter on here..so if you don't like baby pictures..good luck.
There you sit exhausted, feeling bloated and fat, emotional, and starting to believe lies from the devil that you know aren't true but they are digging under your skin.
And then the baby fusses, and fusses, and then cries. No matter what you try to do, be it a toy, feeding, holding, rocking..your precious bundle of joy ain't so happy.
What do you do?
Do you cry? Set the baby down and walk into another room for a minute or two?
Do you lose your top and yell?
Some moments, no matter what I do, Lily just fusses and nothing seems to appease her. I get frustrated; I want to cry and scream and walk away.
I just want peace...
But I have to remember that she is a precious gift, and that her fussing is the only way she can let me know there is something wrong.
I'm not gunna lie, it's hard and I definitely don't get it right all the time. I mean, really, there's got to be a reason that we don't remember these early years right? Maybe it's a gift to the parents? Like a grace period where we can try to figure out how this all works without them remembering the frustration, the tears we both cried and the mistakes we made. That way they can trust us completely.
What a blessing, knowing that your child loves and trusts you completely.
Anyway, I was totally having one of those days... or weeks. I know none of you have had those right? haha just kidding. But really... I was exhausted from getting up every 3-4 hours for the last 7 months, I felt fat and bloated from the food I ate earlier which my body wasn't able to handle, and I was super emotional on top of that.
So needless to say when Lily started fussing for no apparent reason, I was about to fall off my rocker. I was ready to lay her in the crib and go and cry in the bathroom. Just as I picked her up and started walking down the hallway she stopped crying..
I was like..."What in the world?" so I looked at her, trying to see what made her so happy, and as soon as our eyes met she gave me the widest grin to date. (Unfortunately I wasn't able to capture it on camera, so here's another picture of her..)
It was a two toothed baby grin that melted this heart and broke through the emotions, frustrations, and exhaustion.
It made the struggles worth it. To see her smile like she did..I will take all the sleepless nights and dirty diapers necessary to see that smile again.
So what about you moms? Are those baby or child or even teenager smiles worth the struggles of Motherhood? I didn't realized how captivating and rewarding their smiles are until one smile made me forget all of my frustrations and troubles. What was one of your most memorable smile moments?
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