Hey! So I figured I'd probably better post again 😂
Things have been going a bit better since my last post. Praise God! Although I'm a little anxious today and feel like I just wanna "check out" to avoid how out of control my emotions can be sometimes. But Praise God that scripture seeps into your soul and that the Spirit brings truth to your mind when you don't remember yourself. God is so good to me. ❤
Anyway, lately I seem to be struggling to get the kids to eat anything green or veggie related. Seriously..this is so annoying! I've made like 4 dinners in a row that the kids just haven't wanted to eat but I feel guilty throwing out because Matt can't take it on the road and they have some sort of pasta or bread that I can't have or I will feel physically terrible. I'm slowly learning that yeah, I don't want to waste food everyday, but it is OK to throw food out instead of eating it myself and putting myself into this self hatred/physically I'll cycle that happens.
It is OK if I don't eat that food and instead throw it out..
I have to say it out loud sometimes.
Just being real with y'all.
Anyway, I've been throwing myself into figuring out this homeschooling thing for Lily seeing as she is nearly 4 now, and I think I've got it nailed down what we will do. I'm thinking we will work through Five In A Row because we work better if we aren't very regimented and very focused on textbooks yet, but we read all the time and the activities that correspond with this curriculum are focused on the traditional "studies" as well as reading, so I don't feel like she is learning nothing haha. But I love that this curriculum allows for life to happen. It is a very flexible way of teaching which is great seeing as Leon is only 2 and I have a hard time keeping him preoccupied.
Also, totally off topic (sorry for the whiplash), I am in a stage where I want to travel. I've wanted to travel since I learned there were other places and languages, and it just hasn't happened yet. I am doing my best to be content where God has us and to focus on raising our family and trying to reach out to those I can, and do the things that Christ has asked of us, but honestly I just want to run away to other places and learn other languages and experience how other people live. I'm slowly convincing Matt to travel, but I'm also letting him know that I will trust his leadership of our family, because ultimately, he is the head.
Disclaimer for everyone who will tell me to let Matt lead:
I trust that Matt is seeking Christ and will lead us accordingly. I also have told him, many, many, times that I will submit to him, as my husband, and if we never travel, that I will be content in that. If he never feels or believes that God is calling us outside of the states, I will trust my husbands judgement. There is no ill-will, no bitterness, no resentment. I am CHOOSING everyday, because it is a choice, to trust and follow this man whom I love completely. I have given my life to this man, and my heart, and ultimately, in marriage, have given him authority over me and our children, and I trust Matt to lead us according to how God is leading him. So I understand and am so grateful for those who will want to pull me aside and tell me to be careful in how I "persuade" him, but please know that Matt is fully aware of how I feel and he knows that I have his back no matter what decision he makes. There is no need to worry, says the girl who has anxiety issues haha.
Memorize Scripture people. Seriously.
Anyway, I have to go and take care of the kiddos. I love you all and hope God is making Himself known in your life. ❤
Xoxo,
Samantha
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