The Day My Patience Died...

Hey friends!

So this past week was so very busy for me. We were booked with things to do from Sunday to last night! Which was one of the stupidest decisions I've made in a while btw because by Tuesday, I was about burnt out. 

I'm actually surprised that I didn't pull my hair out! Although that job is usually left to Lily as she has a huge fondness for hair hahaha :D Anyway, after being so busy the first few days and not seeing an end in sight for another bunch of days, I lost all sense of patience and was sadly, very irritable. 

If I had to peg a day, I'd say that Tuesday was the day my patience died..

So as I was primed to lash out at anything..and sadly anyone, thankfuly I found myself having a hard time being angry with Matt and Lily, especially Lily (btw sorry honey, but thank you for loving me despite my selfish and sinful moments...I love you).

Has anyone else run into this? That you want so desperately to be angry and frustrated with your child but then they look you in the face and smile or do something that kicks your anger in the face and almost knocks the wind out of you? 

I didn't know that I could feel such contrary and yet passionate emotions at the same time! 

Picture this:

Lily is sitting on my lap after yet another long day of business and Matt is sitting next to me. Here we are, just trying to relax together and decompress when she pulls my hair. 

I look at her, gently untangle my hair from those beautiful little fingers and say, "No baby girl, we don't pull on hair. It hurts Mommy."

Not less than twenty seconds later she does it again!...and again..and again. 

So, like any other person who realizes that what they are doing isn't working, I put my hair into a high bun to get it away from adorably prying fingers. 

She grabs it anyway. I wish I could tell you that I was all wonderful and merciful and loving, but honestly?

I was ready to....

But when I pulled her down from my head...she laughed. 

Like the epitome of adorable baby laughter...AND SMILED! 

She was having a ball with me grabbing her and pulling her down for the high tower she had climbed!

So here I am about ready to repeat the explosion from Mt. Vesuvius and I am completely stopped in my tracks by the amount of happiness radiating from my daughter. 

How can I possibly be angry with that? With her?

I still can't believe that I wanted to tell at her, or even be angry with her! I'm not going to lie when I say I feel terribly guilty. 

I mean seriously! She is my helpless, adorable, baby! And honestly, most of the time she has no idea what I'm saying...

Has anyone else run into this? Please tell me I'm not alone?

Xoxo,

Samantha

P.s I'm really looking forward to your responses.